Referral Letters and More

A few small updates for you today. 

The Adoption Center sent us the referral letters to forward out to 1 family member and 2 non-family members.  We chose Grandpa & Grandma Bock, Carlos & Nora (Carlos used to be a co-worker of ours and now their whole family is next to family to us) and Darryl & Denise (our wonderful neighbors).  Once those letters are returned to the Adoption Center, then our next step is the Pre-Adoption and Application Sessions.  That will consist of a 2-hour session with the director and a separate session with a counselor.

Mike and I purchased a couple furniture pieces at a local antique shop for the nursery.  I just love them.  The tall one is the dresser and the shorter, longer piece (bad picture because it's stuffed in our garage for now) will be the changing table.  Once we begin putting the room together, then I'll polish them up and change out the hardware on one of them.

One of Mike's soccer friends does painting and work has been slow for him, so Mike hired him  topaint the nursery tomorrow.  I'm really excited.  Here is a picture of how the room looks now and a picture of the color the room will be painted (green).

We're enjoying this process so far and I'm so glad we get to share it with all of you.  :)

Love,

Brenda

Correction

Since my last posting I found out new information.  I thought our next is the application processing and readiness session, but I stand corrected.  The next step is for us to send out referral letters to have completed by some close family and friends for the Adoption Center to review.  Once Sarah at the Adoption Center receives and reviews all of the letters, then Mike and I go in for the application processing and readiness session.  I should be receiving the letters to send out this weekend.

Have a wonderful weekend!
Brenda

Orientation

I would have blogged sooner, but I've been glued to the couch being sick.  Feeling better, but this cough is going to be tough to kick.

Our orientation was Tuesday night and it was beneficial.  We met 5 other nice couples looking into adoption also and the director of the Adoption Center of San Diego, Sarah Jensen.  She has worked in adoption for numerous years and has a lot of great knowledge.  We did have to leave a little early because I was feeling terrible.  But here is some information we learned:

** Birthmothers don't see their baby as a gift, they see the adopting parents as the gift.  Also, they don't GIVE UP their baby for adoption...they PLACE their baby in a home of their choice.

* The average age of birthmothers that come into the Adoption Center are 18-25 years; however, they've had 1 mother as young as 13 and 1 as old as 44 years.

* Birthmothers and birthfathers (presumed, not alleged) have 30 days once they sign the adoption papers to change their mind.  But Sarah Jensen said that it's rare that happens.  Typically, if a birth parent is going to change their mind, then it will be before the baby is born.

* Information that we'll be provided when a birthmother chooses us: medical history of birthmother (Adoption Center gets a medical release from the birthmother), birthfather (if known), medical history of the family, drug and/or alcohol history, hobbies, school, personality traits, information on birthgrandparents, etc.  It's about 10 pages of information.

* Once a birthmother chooses us, then we begin to build a relationship with her and her family.  We do this by:  spending quality time with them, invite her/them to our family gatherings, go to prenatal appointments and have open phone conversations.

Next up!
We filled out a questionnaire that is reviewed by the Adoption Center to find out if we are good canidates.  If we are, then our next step is the Application Processing & Adoption Readiness Sessions.  Please keep us in your prayers that God allows us to be accepted.

I can tell this adoption process will include a lot of "hurry up and wait".  Here is a perfect scripture that a friend sent to me in a card recently:

"These things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed." Habakkuk 2:3

We hope to have more information to share with you soon.

Love & hugs,
Brenda

Encouraging Words

"The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing." Psalm 34:10

6 days until our orientation!  I've printed a bunch of pictures and purchased everything I need to make a scrapbook.  After our orientation, I will be making a scrapbook of our lives.  Some pictures include baby pictures of Mike & I, our parents, grandparents and a few other family members, vacations, Mike playing soccer, us fishing & camping, me during the Breast Cancer 3-Day Walk, our animals, and some holiday pictures.  I'm holding off on putting it together now, because they may give us some other ideas and/or parameters about the scrapbook.  When the birth mothers review our "Dear Birth Mom letter", they'll also review our scrapbook. 

Have a blessed day!
Brenda

Getting Educated

Hello All,
We learned more information about another adoption avenue over the past week.  It is adopting through the County of San Diego.  I spoke with 2 people that adopted through the county and they had good outcomes.  The pros are:  there is minimal cost to adopt, the county pays $450/month and medical insurance until the child is considered an adult, all adoption and parenting classes are free and a county worker would be assigned to the adopting couple or person (no run-around).  This all sounded like a better direction for us; however, we've talked about it more and did our homework.  The cons are:  the county is persistent on placing an older child into adoptive families homes, the wait time for a newborn is about double the time than at Adoption Center of San Diego and they don't always work as closely with the birth moms, if at all, to find out more about their background, addictions and medical history.  Adoption Center of San Diego requires all birth moms to take a support group class bi-weekly so the birth-moms can learn from counselors and their peers about the adoption process, their emotions and more.

Needless to say, we've decided to continue on the path we began with Adoption Center of San Diego.  We now have 9 days until our orientation (but who's counting).  The 17th is when the ball begins to roll.  Mike & I have already decided that our office will become the nursery and we plan on moving our office into the guest room.  Sorry future guests, our couch will be the new guest room, but the plus it that the television is nice and the refrigerator is closer.  :o)   This may show my eagerness...I made my 1st purchase for the unknown baby.  Jammies--not a good picture and it's a bit wrinkled, but mom made me promise to post a picture (love you mom!!)...

Have a wonderful week and we'll be in touch soon.

Lots of hugs and love,
Brenda

Our orientation is about 2 weeks away and we're learning so much from so many people.  I had no idea how many people have adopted family members.  It's amazing!  We are extrememly blessed that we have such caring and helpful family and friends.  We've received an abundace of phone calls, e-mails and texts communicating the shared excitement.

We have decided that we're not going to pre-choose a boy or girl, because if we were having a baby naturally we wouldn't have the choice.  So, we'll all be surprised together.

God is really smiling down on us and I couldn't be any more blessed right now.  I think back to a few weeks ago when I was feeling sad and defeated, but God heard my prayers.

Thank you for all your kind comments and most of all your prayers!