Lucas Isaiah Herr

Hello from a Mommy,
We've now been a daddy and mommy for 1 week and 1 day.  Lucas Isaiah was born on 1/11/11 at 1:43 pm.  He was 8lb 4oz and 20" long.  He was scored a 9.9 out of 10 on the Apgar scale.  I was allowed in the O.R. when Lucas was born and was able to cut his umbilical cord. 

Here is a picture of Lucas fresh on Earth.

From the O.R. I wheeled him into the nursery where Mike joined me while he was warming up, being measured and bathed. 

After we left the nursery, the nurse showed to our room where Mike, Lucas and I stayed until Thursday, Jan. 13th.  This time at the hospital was exciting and surreal.  But it was also exhausting because we didn't get a lot of sleep and we shared a twin hospital bed.  Also we had the pleasure of having visitors. 

A few times a day we also went to Charmaine's room a few doors down to spend time with her and her family as they came in.  By the way, Charmaine had a smooth c-section and she's healing nicely.  She is in good spirits and I talk and/or text with her everyday.  I'm blessed to have her as Lucas' birthmom and a friend.

We came home about 4:30 last Thursday.  Oh boy were we happy to come home!!  Since then Lucas has been settling in and he has good sleeping habits.  He sleeps anywhere between 3 and 4 hours between diaper changes and feedings.  He's a healthy eater and we're relieved about that.

Lucas had his 1st medical check up on 1/14 with his pediatrician and it went very well.  Yesterday we took him to get circumcised and he did so well.  All swelling and redness already seems gone.  He's such a trooper!

Lastly, the best news of all...Lucas' birthfather signed the adoption papers!!  This means that we only have to wait 30 days until the adoption can be finalized compared to about a year if he didn't sign.

Well, it's time to change his diaper and give him a bottle.

Lots of love,

Brenda

Birth-Day!

For once I am speechless. I'm sittings here not feeling overwhelmed, anxious or stressed, to my surprise. Instead I feel calm and warm knowing that all the details of the day are in God's strong and loving hands. Today and over the next few days, if your thoughts wonder to Lucas, Mike, Charmaine, her mom, her sons and/or me, please pray for us.

I will blog more later with more details. We hope there is wi-fi at the hospital. If not, then it will be a few days.

Big day for us...we will be meeting our son!

Hugs and love,
Brenda

5 Days and Counting

The sun is shining and the Son is blessing us.  What more could we ask for? :)

We met with our adoption attorney, Joy, on Tuesday and she is wonderful!  Joy verbally drew out a map of events for us from now until the day Mike & I become Lucas' legal adoptive parents.  The journey is crystal clear.  I won't bore you with all the details, but if you're curious just ask me...I don't mind sharing.  Charmaine met with her adoption services provider, Loren, to be explained her rights as the birthmom and what she should be expecting throughout the next month.  We also met Loren and she seems very helpful and knowledgeable.  Our last meeting on Tuesday was with Charmaine and Sarah to discuss the hospital stay and the communication we'd like after we bring Lucas home.  Charmaine said that she wants Lucas to be handed to me as soon as he's born, Mike & I will be doing all the feedings and diaper changes in the hospital and Lucas will be staying in our room.  She would like a little alone time with Lucas, which we understand and respect.  But a lot of our time will be together during the hospital stay.  We expect to be there anywhere from 2-4 days.

Someone asked me if it was appropriate to send Charmaine flowers to the hospital and my answer was YES!  If anyone is interested in sending flowers or a card to Charmaine, we will be at Palomar Hospital in Escondido and her last name is Garibay.  I won't know a room number until we get there on Tuesday, so you can always call the hospital at 760-739-3000 or me at 858-342-6943.

Charmaine and I will be having lunch and going to a movie this afternoon.  I really enjoy spending time with her and getting to know her.

Have a wonderful day!

Much love,
Brenda

The Latest

Hello All,
The days are passing so quickly and 1/11/11 is almost upon us.  Charmaine, Lucas' birthmom, is officially on leave for 2 months. Thank goodness because her job as a massage therapist is tough on her body and feet.  Now she gets to take it easy.  Her hip and back have been bothering her non-stop for almost a week now. 

Mike and I went with Charmaine to her sonogram on 12/29 and we got to see Lucas moving around.  He even kicked at one point during the sonogram.  It was an awesome experience.  The doctor estimating Lucas weighed about 7 lbs 12 oz.  He's going to be a healthy, big baby boy.  After the sonogram we went to the hospital where Lucas will be born, Palomar Hospital.  Charmaine had to give them her insurance information and Mike & I had to sign some papers so the hospital acknowledges us as the adoptive parents.  Then the 3 of us went and had lunch.  It was a very fulfilling day.  We are really enjoying getting to know Charmaine.  She's a kind, positive and calm person.

The next steps will be for us to meet with our adoption attorney this coming Tuesday.  I'm not exactly sure what the meeting will entail, but she said it will take about 2 hours.  Later on Tuesday, Mike and I will be meeting Sarah (adoption director) and Charmaine at the Adoption Center to figure out the details of the time at the hospital, such as who will be handed Lucas first, who's room he'll sleep in, who will be feeding him, etc.  Also, we'll be discussing how often Charmine will want to see Lucas after we adopt him, how often she wants to see pictures, etc.  Mike & I are confident that the meeting will go smoothly, because we've been comfortable discussing most of these issues with Charmaine.

I think these next 11 days will pass at the speed of light, so I apologize if I don't blog as often as before.  We've received so many kind words and shared excitement and we give praise every evening for such wonderful families and friends.

Lots of love,
Brenda

Meeting the Birthmom & Tummy

Hello,
Friday (12/17) Mike and I went to Sarah's office (adoption director) to meet our birthmom, Charmaine.  Boy, I was nervous and excited.  I couldn't think straight and at times I felt I was literally beside myself.  But only about 15 minutes into the 3 hour meeting I began to regain my composure.  Sarah asked us all questions then we would take turns answering them.  Here are some of the questions:

• Tell me about your upbringing?
• What brought you to this place (adoption)?
• What is your faith like?
• What is your biggest fear?
• Are you certain about your decision about adoption (Charmaine)?
• What do you see the open adoption relationship like after the adoption papers have been signed?

There were a number of other questions, but this should be enough to give you an idea of what we spoke about.  After the meeting, Sarah told all 3 of us to go home, think about it, sleep on it and call her in the morning to let her know our decisions.  Then Sarah spoke one-on-one with Charmaine while we waited in the lobby.  After they met for about 10 minutes, Charmaine and Sarah came out and Charmaine told us that she is certain that we are the parents she wants for her baby.  Do I have to tell you how happy we were and are?  Let me tell you, I am so very thankful to God right now, because He had a plan for us and not only is He placing this baby in our hands, but also placing Charmaine in our lives.  God is good and we are so blessed.

Now, let me tell you all about Charmaine.  She is smart, sweet and has the kindest eyes I've ever seen.  I know this was a difficult decision for her, to say the least, but because she has made this decision it is obvious that she is unselfish, loves her baby more than herself and sees the big picture in life.  Charmaine is 6'1" (Mike LOVES that she is tall), blond hair, hazel eyes (they looked hazel to me), 27 years old and Caucasian.  The birthfather, Israel, is about 5'9", brown hair, brown eyes, 25 years old and Mexican.  We may not ever meet him, but we are good with that knowledge.  We look forward to a long relationship with Charmaine and can see a bright future for her, our baby and us.

We are going to try and get together this coming week with Charmaine and possibly meet her sons and mom.  But we definitely will see her on Dec. 29th.  She has warmly invited us to her last sonogram appointment.  Her doing that and bringing us the sonogram pictures shows us how kind and thoughtful she is. 

I could go on and on all day, but I'll stop...for now.  I will post more soon.

Love,
Brenda

Huge Blessing

Well, it's 3:50 a.m. and it's impossible for me to sleep right now.  Sarah called us from the adoption center yesterday afternoon and told us that a birthmom has chosen us!!  At one point she put me on hold and I was dancing around the kitchen like a crazy person.  It was all I had to contain myself when she came back on the phone.  I was consumed by happiness that I began crying in bed at about 3:45 this morning and had to get out of bed.

Here is some information we can share:

• She is due with a boy on 1/11/11 and will be having a c-section.
• The birthmom is 27 yrs old.
• She is married to the birthfather, but they're in the process of a divorce.
• The birthmother is caucasion and birthfather is Hispanic.
• She is set on adoption for her baby.
• The birthfather was difficult to track down, but Sarah spoke with him and he is not committing one way or another about agreeing to the adoption.
• To us, this means that we will go forward with the adoption and pray that the birthfather will either sign the adoption papers after the baby is born or sign off his parental rights. 
• If he signs the adoption papers then he'll have 30 days, like the birthmother, to change his mind after we bring the baby home from the hospital.
• If he doesn't sign any papers and doesn't ask for the baby, then we take the baby home and the birthfather has 6 months to change his mind and ask for the baby.  If he doesn't take action within the 6 months, then it's considered abandonment and the baby boy will be ours forever.

This is a big risk for Mike and I, but we know it's in God's hands.  I have decided to look forward and allow myself all the excitement that I want and give God all my thanks and praise.  But know that God may allow this birthfather or birthmother their baby back (within the window above).  So, if all that time lapses without either of them requesting the baby back, then we'll have to throw a big celebration!! 

We are meeting the birthmother today at 1:30.  I'm so excited to meet her and learn more about her, her family and the birthfather. 

I also want to mention that we will be learning A LOT of information about the birthfamilies, but most of the information is for us to know, but not for us to share.  So, please excuse me if we don't divulge very much information about the birthfamilies 

Okay, I might as well get some work done.  Thank you for allowing me to share this information with you.

Big hug and lots of love,
Brenda

Ready & Waiting

Hello Everyone,
We went to our Support Group last Thursday and there were 3 new babies just adopted within the past month.  The proud new adoptive parents brought their new babies in and they were all so adorable.  One was only 5 days old!!  It was bitter-sweet.  I was a little green with envy, but also very happy that these couples were chosen to be parents.  The new parents had a tired glow about them.  Sometimes I forget that just because we're not having a child biologically, that we won't have to go through getting up multiple times a night for feedings and diaper changes.  I have to jolt myself back into reality now so it won't be such a shock to my brain later.

Here are the 2 pictures we used in our Dear Birthmother letter:

We've been asked by Sarah, the Adoption Center's director, to network and get the word out that we're looking to adopt.  So, please feel free to speak about our situation to anyone you know.  If you come across someone you may know or someone who knows someone, let me know and I'll get you one of our letters.

Christmas is almost upon us and I'm looking forward it it.  This is my favorite season.

I hope to have new information to share with all of you soon.

Love,
Brenda