I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Mike and I went to my mom's house for a great day with loving family and an awesome turkey dinner. My mouth is still watering when I think about it. I think the holiday celebrations should be like they were in Jesus' day where they lasted for days. Eat, gather with family and friends, eat, sleep and repeat.
Sarah came to our home on Monday to finalize our Dear Birthmother letter and choose a picture of Mike & I for our letter. She also helped us choose a color and texture of paper for the letter. So, I set out on Tuesday to get the exact paper Sarah recommended and had the pictures printed. Then at home I printed out the letters, trimmed the pictures and put them all together. We had to make 20 copies of our letter and 20 copies of our personal questionnaire. Our letter includes a small picture of Dino and a larger picture of Mike & I. I delivered these to Sarah on Wednesday. This all means that we are now being considered by the birthmoms that Sarah meets with.
Now we wait.
In the meantime we will continue to go to the support groups, which are the 1st Thursday of every month.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Rescheduled
Our meeting with Sarah has been postponed until next Monday because Sarah's mother-in-law passed away.
I was just in Nebraska visiting my best friend Diana. She is good friends with her neighbors, Paul & Ronda, and she wanted to introduce me to them. While we were there, Rhonda's mom was visiting too. (I'm getting to a point, please stay with me.) Rhonda's mom asked if we had any children and I told her we are in the process of adopting. Then she shared with me that her best friend's teenage, granddaughter is pregnant and is going gift her baby to an adoptive family. I shared that I was interested in finding out if she has been matched with a family yet and if not, then would she consider Mike & I as potential adoptive parents. So the question has been asked and now we wait to hear back. I'm hopeful.
Love,
Brenda
I was just in Nebraska visiting my best friend Diana. She is good friends with her neighbors, Paul & Ronda, and she wanted to introduce me to them. While we were there, Rhonda's mom was visiting too. (I'm getting to a point, please stay with me.) Rhonda's mom asked if we had any children and I told her we are in the process of adopting. Then she shared with me that her best friend's teenage, granddaughter is pregnant and is going gift her baby to an adoptive family. I shared that I was interested in finding out if she has been matched with a family yet and if not, then would she consider Mike & I as potential adoptive parents. So the question has been asked and now we wait to hear back. I'm hopeful.
Love,
Brenda
Friday, November 12, 2010
Reschedule
Hello all,
Sarah had to deal with a crisis with one of the birthmoms on Wednesday, so she was not able to come to our home. Our meeting has been rescheduled for this Tuesday. More to come. :)
Love,
Brenda
Sarah had to deal with a crisis with one of the birthmoms on Wednesday, so she was not able to come to our home. Our meeting has been rescheduled for this Tuesday. More to come. :)
Love,
Brenda
Friday, November 5, 2010
Our 1st Support Group
Last night Mike and I went to our 1st Support Group. Adoption Center of San Diego offers a support group for all adoptive parents before and after a child is adopted the 1st Thursday of every month. These sessions give Sarah, the director, a chance to give everyone updates as to how many birthmothers she's meeting with, what couples have been matched with their birthmothers, events coming up, places where she has spoken (crisis pregnancy centers, schools, etc.) and any other updates Sarah might have. During these 2 hours, everyone gets a chance to express any feelings they want to share, such as: frustration, sadness, anxiety, being overwhelmed, anger, etc. Sarah asks a lot of probing questions, gives us a lot examples of different situations and helps us to understand that there is no textbook adoption. All the support group sessions, workshops and meetings with Sarah have made us realize 2 very important things.
#1-Be ready for change and the unexpected. When a birthmother chooses us, she can later change her mind before the adoption (or up to 30 days after the adoption).
#2-Be giving of ourselves. When a birthmother chooses us, communication is key and we need to be open to her and insightful. During the pregnancy if she needs maternity clothes, more cell phone minutes, etc, then we need to help out financially (to a point). After the pregnancy, we will need to be flexible and supportive so she can spend some time with the baby/child.
These meetings are helping us to be better prepared spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Who knew adoption would be as involved as this. Mike and I initially thought that we'd sign up at an adoption agency, fill out the required papers, sit on a waiting list and when we get chosen take the baby home and then live happily ever after. But it is so much more involved as I mentioned before. BUT I have no complaints or regrets about how we've decided to adopt. If we went to the county it would have been much simpler; however, open adoption is so much more fulfilling for the triangle of people involved...birthparents, child and adoptive parents. We are continued to be blessed by God throughout this process and He has given me TONS more patients then I could have ever dreamed about.
Lastly, Sarah will be coming to our home next Wednesday to finalize our Dear Birthmother letter and choose a picture for our letter. Once it is completed I will put it on the blog for all to see.
God bless all of you and thank you for being interested in our adventure.
Love,
Brenda
#1-Be ready for change and the unexpected. When a birthmother chooses us, she can later change her mind before the adoption (or up to 30 days after the adoption).
#2-Be giving of ourselves. When a birthmother chooses us, communication is key and we need to be open to her and insightful. During the pregnancy if she needs maternity clothes, more cell phone minutes, etc, then we need to help out financially (to a point). After the pregnancy, we will need to be flexible and supportive so she can spend some time with the baby/child.
These meetings are helping us to be better prepared spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Who knew adoption would be as involved as this. Mike and I initially thought that we'd sign up at an adoption agency, fill out the required papers, sit on a waiting list and when we get chosen take the baby home and then live happily ever after. But it is so much more involved as I mentioned before. BUT I have no complaints or regrets about how we've decided to adopt. If we went to the county it would have been much simpler; however, open adoption is so much more fulfilling for the triangle of people involved...birthparents, child and adoptive parents. We are continued to be blessed by God throughout this process and He has given me TONS more patients then I could have ever dreamed about.
Lastly, Sarah will be coming to our home next Wednesday to finalize our Dear Birthmother letter and choose a picture for our letter. Once it is completed I will put it on the blog for all to see.
God bless all of you and thank you for being interested in our adventure.
Love,
Brenda
Monday, November 1, 2010
3rd Draft and more
I hope everyone had a nice and safe Halloween. Late last week we send over the 3rd draft of our Dear Birthmother letter to Sarah. I believe the writing part is finalized. Now we need a picture of Mike & I for the letter to complete it. Our good friend Stephanie is helping us out by coming over later today to take pictures of us. She takes beautiful photographs and I'm really excited to see how they turn out.
On Saturday we went to 1 of the 2 workshops that the Adoption Center of San Diego offers. (The next one is later this month.) The workshop was created to help adoptive parents understand the perspective of the birthmothers and to offer support on how to better have a relationship with our future adopted baby's birthmother. It was 4 1/2 hours and very beneficial.
We begin our Support Group this Thursday. It is offered the 1st Thursday of each month and it is for all adoptive parents, before and after adopting a baby. I'll share more after we've attending the session.
If anyone has any questions or concerns about anything I'm sharing or have shared, PLEASE ask me or talk to me. This was very foreign and unnerving to us early on, but as we take this journey it has been enlightening, comforting and reassuring that we've made the right decision to adopt and committed to the right adoption center.
Lastly, I want to share with you that an opportunity to adopt a baby that was due on December 15th arose early last week. Mike was cautiously happy and I was cautiously ecstatic. This opportunity came from a family member's friend's family member (I hope I didn't loose anyone on that one). However, this person wanted a very closed and private adoption and I think she chose to go with her adoption center because we had a link to her family that she didn't want. It was disheartening at first, however, that baby was not in God's plan for us. But for all of your knowledge, if we come across someone who wants to gift their baby into adoption, then we are able to run that adoption through our adoption center.
Love & hugs,
Brenda
On Saturday we went to 1 of the 2 workshops that the Adoption Center of San Diego offers. (The next one is later this month.) The workshop was created to help adoptive parents understand the perspective of the birthmothers and to offer support on how to better have a relationship with our future adopted baby's birthmother. It was 4 1/2 hours and very beneficial.
We begin our Support Group this Thursday. It is offered the 1st Thursday of each month and it is for all adoptive parents, before and after adopting a baby. I'll share more after we've attending the session.
If anyone has any questions or concerns about anything I'm sharing or have shared, PLEASE ask me or talk to me. This was very foreign and unnerving to us early on, but as we take this journey it has been enlightening, comforting and reassuring that we've made the right decision to adopt and committed to the right adoption center.
Lastly, I want to share with you that an opportunity to adopt a baby that was due on December 15th arose early last week. Mike was cautiously happy and I was cautiously ecstatic. This opportunity came from a family member's friend's family member (I hope I didn't loose anyone on that one). However, this person wanted a very closed and private adoption and I think she chose to go with her adoption center because we had a link to her family that she didn't want. It was disheartening at first, however, that baby was not in God's plan for us. But for all of your knowledge, if we come across someone who wants to gift their baby into adoption, then we are able to run that adoption through our adoption center.
Love & hugs,
Brenda
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