Our 1st Support Group

Last night Mike and I went to our 1st Support Group.  Adoption Center of San Diego offers a support group for all adoptive parents before and after a child is adopted the 1st Thursday of every month.  These sessions give Sarah, the director, a chance to give everyone updates as to how many birthmothers she's meeting with, what couples have been matched with their birthmothers, events coming up, places where she has spoken (crisis pregnancy centers, schools, etc.) and any other updates Sarah might have.  During these 2 hours, everyone gets a chance to express any feelings they want to share, such as: frustration, sadness, anxiety, being overwhelmed, anger, etc.  Sarah asks a lot of probing questions, gives us a lot examples of different situations and helps us to understand that there is no textbook adoption.  All the support group sessions, workshops and meetings with Sarah have made us realize 2 very important things. 
#1-Be ready for change and the unexpected.  When a birthmother chooses us, she can later change her mind before the adoption (or up to 30 days after the adoption).
#2-Be giving of ourselves.  When a birthmother chooses us, communication is key and we need to be open to her and insightful.  During the pregnancy if she needs maternity clothes, more cell phone minutes, etc, then we need to help out financially (to a point).  After the pregnancy, we will need to be flexible and supportive so she can spend some time with the baby/child.

These meetings are helping us to be better prepared spiritually, mentally and emotionally.  Who knew adoption would be as involved as this.  Mike and I initially thought that we'd sign up at an adoption agency, fill out the required papers, sit on a waiting list and when we get chosen take the baby home and then live happily ever after.  But it is so much more involved as I mentioned before.  BUT I have no complaints or regrets about how we've decided to adopt.  If we went to the county it would have been much simpler; however, open adoption is so much more fulfilling for the triangle of people involved...birthparents, child and adoptive parents.  We are continued to be blessed by God throughout this process and He has given me TONS more patients then I could have ever dreamed about.

Lastly, Sarah will be coming to our home next Wednesday to finalize our Dear Birthmother letter and choose a picture for our letter.  Once it is completed I will put it on the blog for all to see.
God bless all of you and thank you for being interested in our adventure.

Love,
Brenda