Meeting the Birthmom & Tummy

Hello,
Friday (12/17) Mike and I went to Sarah's office (adoption director) to meet our birthmom, Charmaine.  Boy, I was nervous and excited.  I couldn't think straight and at times I felt I was literally beside myself.  But only about 15 minutes into the 3 hour meeting I began to regain my composure.  Sarah asked us all questions then we would take turns answering them.  Here are some of the questions:

• Tell me about your upbringing?
• What brought you to this place (adoption)?
• What is your faith like?
• What is your biggest fear?
• Are you certain about your decision about adoption (Charmaine)?
• What do you see the open adoption relationship like after the adoption papers have been signed?

There were a number of other questions, but this should be enough to give you an idea of what we spoke about.  After the meeting, Sarah told all 3 of us to go home, think about it, sleep on it and call her in the morning to let her know our decisions.  Then Sarah spoke one-on-one with Charmaine while we waited in the lobby.  After they met for about 10 minutes, Charmaine and Sarah came out and Charmaine told us that she is certain that we are the parents she wants for her baby.  Do I have to tell you how happy we were and are?  Let me tell you, I am so very thankful to God right now, because He had a plan for us and not only is He placing this baby in our hands, but also placing Charmaine in our lives.  God is good and we are so blessed.

Now, let me tell you all about Charmaine.  She is smart, sweet and has the kindest eyes I've ever seen.  I know this was a difficult decision for her, to say the least, but because she has made this decision it is obvious that she is unselfish, loves her baby more than herself and sees the big picture in life.  Charmaine is 6'1" (Mike LOVES that she is tall), blond hair, hazel eyes (they looked hazel to me), 27 years old and Caucasian.  The birthfather, Israel, is about 5'9", brown hair, brown eyes, 25 years old and Mexican.  We may not ever meet him, but we are good with that knowledge.  We look forward to a long relationship with Charmaine and can see a bright future for her, our baby and us.

We are going to try and get together this coming week with Charmaine and possibly meet her sons and mom.  But we definitely will see her on Dec. 29th.  She has warmly invited us to her last sonogram appointment.  Her doing that and bringing us the sonogram pictures shows us how kind and thoughtful she is. 

I could go on and on all day, but I'll stop...for now.  I will post more soon.

Love,
Brenda

Huge Blessing

Well, it's 3:50 a.m. and it's impossible for me to sleep right now.  Sarah called us from the adoption center yesterday afternoon and told us that a birthmom has chosen us!!  At one point she put me on hold and I was dancing around the kitchen like a crazy person.  It was all I had to contain myself when she came back on the phone.  I was consumed by happiness that I began crying in bed at about 3:45 this morning and had to get out of bed.

Here is some information we can share:

• She is due with a boy on 1/11/11 and will be having a c-section.
• The birthmom is 27 yrs old.
• She is married to the birthfather, but they're in the process of a divorce.
• The birthmother is caucasion and birthfather is Hispanic.
• She is set on adoption for her baby.
• The birthfather was difficult to track down, but Sarah spoke with him and he is not committing one way or another about agreeing to the adoption.
• To us, this means that we will go forward with the adoption and pray that the birthfather will either sign the adoption papers after the baby is born or sign off his parental rights. 
• If he signs the adoption papers then he'll have 30 days, like the birthmother, to change his mind after we bring the baby home from the hospital.
• If he doesn't sign any papers and doesn't ask for the baby, then we take the baby home and the birthfather has 6 months to change his mind and ask for the baby.  If he doesn't take action within the 6 months, then it's considered abandonment and the baby boy will be ours forever.

This is a big risk for Mike and I, but we know it's in God's hands.  I have decided to look forward and allow myself all the excitement that I want and give God all my thanks and praise.  But know that God may allow this birthfather or birthmother their baby back (within the window above).  So, if all that time lapses without either of them requesting the baby back, then we'll have to throw a big celebration!! 

We are meeting the birthmother today at 1:30.  I'm so excited to meet her and learn more about her, her family and the birthfather. 

I also want to mention that we will be learning A LOT of information about the birthfamilies, but most of the information is for us to know, but not for us to share.  So, please excuse me if we don't divulge very much information about the birthfamilies 

Okay, I might as well get some work done.  Thank you for allowing me to share this information with you.

Big hug and lots of love,
Brenda

Ready & Waiting

Hello Everyone,
We went to our Support Group last Thursday and there were 3 new babies just adopted within the past month.  The proud new adoptive parents brought their new babies in and they were all so adorable.  One was only 5 days old!!  It was bitter-sweet.  I was a little green with envy, but also very happy that these couples were chosen to be parents.  The new parents had a tired glow about them.  Sometimes I forget that just because we're not having a child biologically, that we won't have to go through getting up multiple times a night for feedings and diaper changes.  I have to jolt myself back into reality now so it won't be such a shock to my brain later.

Here are the 2 pictures we used in our Dear Birthmother letter:

We've been asked by Sarah, the Adoption Center's director, to network and get the word out that we're looking to adopt.  So, please feel free to speak about our situation to anyone you know.  If you come across someone you may know or someone who knows someone, let me know and I'll get you one of our letters.

Christmas is almost upon us and I'm looking forward it it.  This is my favorite season.

I hope to have new information to share with all of you soon.

Love,
Brenda